Today I stunk up the casino: literally. After dinner I had such bad stomach pains that I took a walk around the casino and left a trail of flatulence in my wake. So that was nice. Anyway, on to the shit that matters.
Jay, Jeff and I woke up at 9 for the much anticipated continental breakfast- which sucked balls. We sat there in a room of 80-year olds enjoying our english muffins and donuts. Then, when we got back to the room mid afternoon after several hours of working out/ gambling, we discovered that only half of one room had been cleaned, and the other hadn't been touched. This hotel really sucks.
Tonight we went to a comedy show, which in my mind was supposed to be the culminating event of our trip. Considering Jay made us sit in the front and enjoyed several shots of Tequila during the show, I speak for the rest of us when I say I'm glad Jay didn't embarrass the hell of us. Too bad the show sucked. Between the three comedians they threw out only the middle guys was mildly funny. Some highlights from the show:
- Despite Jay, Jeff and Dave ordering drinks without being carded, CJ did, but quickly played it off like he didn't have it.
- Brian and Jay seriously considered buying a bottle of wine, but decided against it after taking several minutes of verbal abuse from Dave and CJ.
- In the span of 20 minutes, Brian was referred to as Bill Gates and Harry Potter. After the horribly non funny lady pegged Brian as Harry, she immediately turned to our bald-headed friend Jay and labeled him Voldemort. That gave us all a good laugh, and surprisingly so did the rest of the room.
- This lady seemed to have a thing for Jay. In between making disgustingly detailed sex jokes involving her hairy tits and non-existent G-spot, she called jay "a fetus in a t-shirt" and said that she'd gladly chase him around the room. Jay was just thrilled that somebody was calling him young for a change.
So after the show we all went back on the floor for one last hurrah. In a matter of a half hour, I went from down $5 for the week to down $75, all on blackjack. I was crushed. While Brian, Jeff and CJ continued on my table, I sulked at a close roulette table, silently hoping that if I looked depressed enough, if I really really looked crushed, that maybe, just maybe, an old guy would pass by, take pity on me, and give me $100 or something like that. That didn't happen, no shit.
Jeff ended up getting his ass kicked tonight, but he's still way up like $150 or something like that. Jay fought his way all the way back to even, then, like an idiot, lost another $50. But then he got lucky on roulette, and finished up around even.
CJ and Brian both won big again, and Dave was able to cut his losses.
So as I prepare to drink myself into a stupor out of sheer frustration, I can at least take solace in the fact that I don't have to drive 5 hours tomorrow.
- The Biggest Loser
No comments:
Post a Comment